He dumped me over the phone.
After 15 years and 10 months of marriage, he told me he wanted out. He didn't love me, hadn't for a while. Then he proceeded to tell our two sons, 15 and 8, that Daddy wasn't coming home anymore.
Over the phone.
That's the part that I can't forgive.
Oh, I know he'd been depressed and unhappy for awhile. He kept pulling away; stressed about finances, the economy (who isn't?), what he's accomplished... I'd suggested anti-depressants or therapy, which he promptly blew off. He travels a lot, and there had been emails to me from his associates suggesting an affair, which he denied.
But to destroy our marriage over the phone? Who the hell does that? Worse, to destroy our sons' world? To smash their lives apart and not be there to help them pick up the pieces? Our eldest son has high-functioning autism and our youngest is on the autistic spectrum. Neither one of them deals with change well.
This was a big change.
I held my youngest in my arms all night as he sobbed, trying to answer questions as best I could. Telling him Daddy loved him even though I wanted to tell him that Daddy was a narcissistic asshole who didn't love anyone but himself. I shed a few tears, but having to comfort others meant I couldn't comfort myself. And now everything is all locked away and I can't cry, even when I want to.
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