So I haven't blogged for awhile, mainly because being a single mom has been keeping me very busy. Add in work, trying to get T's stuff moved out, and holidays, and I'm barely keeping my head above water.

There's been a lot of ups and downs, but I've gotten to a good place. A place where I breathe and just focus on the moment and what I can control. I'm almost to the point where I realize I'm better off without him- not just the words and logical understanding, but an honest, emotional realization. I am better off without him. It's a big step. It doesn't mean I don't still occasionally miss him, but for the most part I'm content. I don't read his blog, don't check if he's online, don't really think about him at all. I feel like I'm moving on.

Which is supposedly what he wants, right? At least that's what he's been saying. But tonight I'm out to dinner with the boys, and he sends me an email about a discussion we had a month ago.

"You know, before you start complaining about my family marginalizing you and cutting you off, maybe you ought to think about how you came across to them over the years."

He then copies part of a chain email where his sister rips me apart for an incident fifteen years ago.

What is the point of that? I don't send him emails from my friends and family talking or complaining about his faults. And I find it somewhat cruel when he knows I miss his family and he gleefully points out that they apparently don't miss and may have even disliked me. How am I supposed to respond to that? Worse yet, how do I continue to negotiate in good faith with a person I no longer recognize?